SF Lost Coin
Notes for June 13, 2011

14 students

A story from Doen:
When Doen was young, he sought to be a student at the Gurdjieff Foundation in NYC. After calling every week for about a year, he was able to meet with someone. Doen was asked, “What do you want?” Doen studied for about 4 or 5 years with Gurdjieff teachers and then many years with Zen teachers. When Doen received transmission, he was asked, “What do you want?”

When you are a student, you're so concerned about what the teacher wants rather than what you want. “What do you want” is the last koan. As students, “What do you want?” is a profound question. The answer is not found in words; rather it is in our core and we typically are defended about, “What do you want?”


Another story
One of the most famous Zen teachers from the Soto school, Dogen, left Japan for China because he was not satisfied. After a treacherous journey, he arrived at the monastery and was met by the Tenzo, the person in charge of the kitchen who was a very senior person. At first, Dogen was surprised that Tenzo was a teacher since he worked in the kitchen. Tenzo responded that if he didn't do the work, who would do it? Dogen then tells Tenzo what he knows of the Dharma-- at length. After Dogen finished, Tenzo responded that Dogen, “didn't know the letter A of the Dharma”, that is Dogen knew nothing. Dogen just cared about the teaching, so without ego, he asked Tenzo to tell him about the letter A of the Dharma. Dogen studied at the monastery for many years.

Ultimately,m Dogen had a true opening experience: he tells his teacher that, “body and mind have fallen away” which the teacher readily acknowledged. Dogen responded by telling the teacher, “do not approve of me too lightly”. Dogen showed that he was not to be stopped from learning by his ego, by his own inertia. He let go of pettiness.

Dogen's teacher said that Dogen had tried very hard, that “he had been through many blows”. But
Dogen knew what he wanted. Whatever it is that you want to do, put yourself into it. The heart of the practice is here-- so be here.

Doen shares a koan from Daido Roshi's collection of Dogen's koans:
The koan is about the “I” that grasps the universe. The “I” is not dependent on intellect or comprehension. When the true “I” is functioning, it goes beyond looking to seeing. “The barrier of subject and object dissolves”-- this is the essential quote. Don't figure it out; just let it go in. Be open: sitting, daisan, retreats.


Discussion
How many koans are there? Doen estimates that there are 1200.
Re: answers for koans: there is a right answer, there is insight for every koan. Insight comes directly from sitting-- from the Zen “chi”.



Doen closes the group. We are absolutely going to die like everybody else. So while we're here, we ought to live. This requires courage. Be courageous enough to step outside yourself. This is what Dogen did. Aspire to this.