Lost Coin – San Francisco
July 4, 2011

Scrutinize your life. You should start to live up to your own “press” - be the person you really want to be. It requires your scrutiny. You can't get Doen's scrutiny until you do it yourself. You won't like it when he does it – it can be very upsetting if you don't do it yourself.

Doen might poke us or lash out – we have to stay awake. Look at yourself. You say “I want to be this (whatever it is).” If you want to be excellent, be free, really grow, be unafraid to take on something new.... it requires your scrutiny. NOT self criticism; that keeps you in place. It's not the same thing.
Don't need a mother to yell at you. You need an internal advisor, someone who bears witness to yourself. Have intention: what do you really want to do? Do you have the guts to do it?

Talking about the possibility of a new center for Lost Coin. Entrepreneurship. Was Bill Gates the best businessman in the world? No – he was just extremely clear about what he wanted. Or, Richard Branson (Virgin Airlines). What do they have in common? They have guts – not in their heads about doing things; they do them. Good to have a scientific head but not something that keeps you in your head, worrying. Tim Ferris – publishers rejected his book 22 times, and on the 23 time, it was published and became a best seller. The phrase “no guts, no glory” works well for Zen students. Sometimes you find a person who doesn't think that their problems are someone else's fault. You can be that person. Do not stop your scrutiny. Where are stuck – it's whatever you believe that's unshakeable. Whatever you think you can't do – that is where you're limiting yourself.

Doen tells a story about a student at Zen Mountain Monastery who tried to kill themselves. He had to go with Daido Roshi to the student's room. There was another student who was a doctor and Daido pushed him aside. When Doen asks about this later, Daido says “That was no doctor – if he was a doctor, he would have said 'get the fuck out of the way' to me.” A person is what they ARE.

Lost coin is about your true nature (the Buddha nature) and being in our life, and not being limited by your beliefs.

1. Buddha nature, and
2. Every day life …... it's like a box with its' lid

You can get pulled in two directions with Zen. Religion is trying to co-opt Zen. It's not a form of religiosity. It's also not a perfume (new agey). That's not real either. Zen is a direct pointing to the mind, beyond understanding.

Please appreciate how fleeting it is to have the opportunity to practice your life in an intelligent way.

Sometimes it is hard to take criticism – from yourself and from your teacher. We are sensitive; it's generally a good thing. But it can be hard to take criticism about yourself. We think it will kill us, and we'll think about it day and night.

Don't think about being a warrior – BE a warrior. Look at this as one thing. The barrier around your thoughts that limit your freedom. Work with it in sitting, in introspection, and with Doen. Don't be afraid to work with it with Doen. It's OK. You should be afraid, but do it anyways. Don't avoid him. Don't avoid yourself.

Think of this during the week: What's your next step? What is the next thing you want to do with your life? Scrutinize yourself. What is standing in your way?

Question: What are guts?
Doen: You need someone, like a coach, who tells you to “go for it.” Baseball coach – there's 3 bases loaded, and the coach says to go for the fences. Some who will say “I expect better from you.” No matter what has come before, you can do something different. Zen-chi (spirit). Who knows where it comes from?

Question: Is taking risks the way to learn how to have guts?
Doen: Yes, I like to teach people that the only way that you learn to take risks is to take risks. You can only learn it by practicing. You just do it. We protect ourselves too much. And what if you fail? You have to keep going.

Question: Sometimes it helps to set an intention. Even if I fail, it helps.
Doen: That's the way. There's a good kind of stubborn (“I'm going to try something even if I fail”) and the wrong kind of stubborn (You are stuck: you only believe what you believe.). Trade in the wrong kind of stubborn for the right kind of stubborn. Fake it until you make it.

Question: I like this, because I've taken some big risks and am doing some big failures. At least I know I took some risks.
Doen: Good. Remember the story about Fritz Peters moving the lawn? That shows us determination, guts, intention.

Something more: not just having a plan, but living up to the deepest ideals. A teacher can help you, but they are our most sincere ideals, most committed ideals. Trusting a lineage. All that's left is to do it.