Lost Coin Class Notes Salt Lake City Tuesday, August 30, 2011 ================================================================== DS: I have a number of things I want to cover. I also want to hear from you a little bit. A couple of things came up in Daisan. You don't see this because you didn't go though my training, so you don't see how we are different. I make it really personal. I consider each of you to be my responsibility. That's the way that Lost Coin is different. Some folks who are almost teachers are thinking of studying with me, because they see Lost Coin as different. When things are going bad for you, I want to hear it. I want to be someone you would go to, and ask: "How can I use my practice to deal with this?" There's nothing I am not willing to discuss with you. I want to talk about something that teachers never talk about directly: Money. Liz collects money for us. It's not an easy job. Folks complain to her. Don't complain to her - complain to me. Let me tell you what I think about money. As I went through the system, I spent more money than you guys. I contributed here and there, monthly, special drives, etc. So, I decided to run Lost Coin differently. We have a flat fee, no fund drive, no monthly this or that. Things come up that I have to make decisions on. With each student, I have to make a decision. I try to make the best decision that I can, but I'm not a machine. I try to make the best decision that I can for your practice. What I want you to understand is that maybe I'll make a bad decision sometime. I won't be infallible. There's nothing being hidden from you, not on any level. Everything is transparent. You want to ask, ask. The bottom line is: the more our relationship is less intellectual, and more emotional, the better. It's really an emotional relationship that I want, with deep trust. That's what has to happen. I know each of you. I know which are more or less approachable, I hope that you approve of that direction, because I'd like to continue in that direction. And we become close, and *really* care for each other. I talk to the people who were mauled by the system, who were hurt by the past or recent events, and I don't want to repeat them. I always thought that folks at the Kanzeon retreats talked a lot because they are European. At Zen Mountain Monastery, you really don't talk. The ones that freak out about this are paranoid. I want you all to go to a Zen Mountain Monastery sesshin at one point. I found that, after a retreat, that I was able to improvise on the piano well. However, people would ask me to stop -- not because they didn't enjoy it -- but it was too much for them. ================================================================== Student: How would you accommodate the poor, as far as money is concerned? DS: Find out why they are poor. I started this philosophy of mine back when I was a therapist. If you're not getting a job, even though there are opportunities and you have skills, etc., I'd work with you on that. If you're poor for another reason, then you can come for free. My financial goals in running Lost Coin is to be able to support myself so that I don't have to do other stuff. I don't need to make any more money than that. This is not a growth enterprise. I think that it would be good for me and the group if this is all that we did. If we can make the Lost Coin communications work, then we may be able to have folks working full-time with Lost Coin. If we ever become financially successful, then I'd like to provide services to the poor. When I was at Kanzeon, I started the "Taking Heart" program. ================================================================== Student: What about (your intention of ) capping the size of the Lost Coin organization and making teachers? What happens to them? DS: I saw folks that didn't want to let go students after the student was made teachers. After I transmit to a teacher, then I want them to go out on their own for 3 years. After that, they can come back if they want. I want my teachers to teach within the Lost Coin tradition. One of the Zen Mountain Monastery students wants to interview me and post the interview on Sweeping Zen. If so, then other teachers will really think that what we do is revolutionary. I hope that they are OK with this. We are all different threads. You are all different threads. Most of the time, if you see me disagreeing with what you are doing, it is when you are conflicting with other threads. But I'm not criticizing *your* thread. The Dharma is that you are OK as you are, but you need to go deeper into what that is. ================================================================== Student: I've been reading "The Eight Gates of Zen", and I'm now reading about liturgical services. Could you talk about that? DS: Liturgical services in Zen are unlike anything else. The closest is that of Native Americans. You are repeating the experiences of the tribe. You are repeating spiritual experiences. The Heart Sutra -- "Avalokitesvara Bodhisattva, doing deep Prajna Paramita clearly saw emptiness of all the five conditions..." -- starts with a historical person telling you what happened. It goes on to describe what she saw. In chanting together, everyone is taught abut that experience. Also, the movements are precise and intended to keep you conscious. (Karate) Kata are precise movements that have to be done in a precise way. It's like I tell you: if I have all of you do a particular simple movement, even those who are long-time students will get it wrong. Liturgy practice is a honing device, to hone your conscious. For example at the last retreat, I wanted you to be more forceful in chanting. There are service positions and training positions: one training position is Jisha. With service positions, there's a way that you do things, like a ballet. That lets me see how you do things. When Maezumi Roshi used to do Dharma talks, I would pray to be struck by lightning (because of the pain in sitting). He would go on for a couple of hours. After a year, I talked to Genpo Roshi and he felt the same way. ================================================================== Student: Are we doing Orioki at the retreat? DS: Sure. We learned a certain kind of persistence. You didn't have to be told. You are overcoming physical obstacles. It's a certain kind of fire that you're learning. It's why, in time, once you make the transition to a senior student, you're going into a senior style of difficulty. ================================================================== Student: Can we do yoga at the retreat like our last time? DS: Yeah. I'm doing yoga. I do it all wrong. To be fair, I stepped into an advanced class. My spine is such that I should be standing on my head. My sense of balance is not that good. What could be worse? ================================================================== Student: What do you mean by "forms"? DS: At the last retreat, we did it then. The liturgy, formal Daisan, formal entering the Zendo, Orioki. We'll have several forms teachers, which is good, because I've forgotten some of it. ================================================================== Student: Will we all do Orioki? DS: Yes. A year from October, we're going to have our annual retreat in London. It will be int the London Buddhist Society's facility. ================================================================== DS: If you can get a copy of the Cold Mountain poems. For those of you with hermit instincts, you'll love it. Get the translation by Red Pine. Nobody knows who Cold Mountain was. He had two buddies: Big Stick and Little Stick. ??? Basically, the emphasis is that Cold Mountain a state of mind. Han Shan is giving instruction. Find the place that is barren: barren of believes, barren of concepts, a whole other region of mind. This place is mind, not the concepts of mind. But what is mind? Look at it in your daily life. The trees are in it. Your thoughts are in it. Everything is in it. It changes all the time. We are completely in this illusion that we are solid physical things, but we are magical dust that flies here and here. This mind never came into being or out of being. Han Shan is talking about a place where there is nothing, but nothing is filled with everything. Emptiness gets filled with everything. When your mind is empty, everything becomes you. Read the blog post a few times, then read the Cold Mountain poems. Cold Mountain is you. The circumstances of your life *appear* to make you suffer. If you do certain things, they will create certain things, and that will make you suffer. If things are too much for you, it was created by your mind. How you react to it is created by your mind. The power of the way to go back to Cold Mountain. Not to succeed at anything. We are so *doofy* about his. I was saying to Student S, some people think that practice and (analytical thought) are apart from each other. When your mind is clear, you can see things. Any questions about that? ================================================================== Student: I'm reading the "The Eight Gates of Zen" and am really enjoying it. There's one line we've all heard. He was describing a situation about being angry and that the only person that can make you angry is you. You are in charge of your reactions. I'm the only person who can make me angry. I got this in a new little way, by the way that he had written this. DS: True. You have the choice on how you're gong to interact with others. You have the choice to remember the deep connections to me or others, or to forget it. It's always there. You don't stop practicing by "falling off the pillow". You stop practice when you stop caring about how you affect others. I heard Daido Roshi say that kind of thing over an over. Then I heard Genpo Roshi say it over and over: "Take responsibility". Don't look to others. Now I'm the one who has to say it to you. It's hard because it takes time. You are responsible for your every thought. You're every feeling. You are always the master. What does the master want to do today? Jesus was a master. Something was coming out of that being -- love. He was a master. Why don't you choose that? No matter how you feel, choose that. If so, everything will be all right. You won't regret that.