I have been reading a book by psychologist and trading coach Brett N. Steenbarger , The Daily Trading Coach. He asks:” Why would a trader seemingly desirous of success not sustain efforts to monitor her own thoughts, emotions,and/or trading performance? ” He paraphrases coach Bob Knight who answers with ……..” they are motivated to win, but not motivated to do the work it takes to become a winner. “
I find this an accurate description of a pitfall in the quest for self-knowledge or excellence. Throughout my training in Zen as well as in martial arts halls I saw myself and others became lost in the desire to “pass” koans and achieve a position or rank in the hierarchy. It is easy to forget that training is about who you are, not how you appear to others.
Lost Coin’s emphasis on excellence is about”being” excellent. It’s about self-mastery, self-discovery – not winning but “being” a winner.
photo credit: kevindooley
Good distinction!
There are so many blogs that supposedly speak about “Self-Mastery” but a lot of it is simply show-off.
You touched upon a deep rift in our culture, I believe.
Many Buddhists or socalled spiritual people say money, success, winning is not important and just “worldly stuff” – while still they would like to have more money, success, etc. and silently breed envy which is then covered up by a sort of spiritual arrogance. ( in short: it’s a mess!)
Yet, many of those giving one talk after the other about “steps to success” programs are so full of how great they, their past accomplishments and future goals are, there’s no space, no room to pause and ask questions that go a bit deeper.
Lost Coin, to me – combines those two elements and I’m always glad to read your posts.
Regards,
André
@André Thank you Andre, I too always find your comments right on. I appreciate that you have *really* read the post and look forward to hearing from you as often as possible.
What an excellent post. I can’t be reminded enough of this: that it is important who I am, not how I appear to others. Why is the judgement of others so important to me? Why am I aiming to reach a certain status, a position, of which I know that it will only give me a false sense of importance and security, a false sense of existing and being someone. Perhaps even being someone I am not. This very much ties into a famous quote which I recently read from Lao-tzu: “Care about people’s approval and you will be their prisoner”.
I agree, we seem to like the idea of being accomplished at something but don’t want to do the work to get there. I see it every day with patients, they want to loose weight but are not willing to eat less or differently. And in myself I want to be a good Sumi-e painter but I am not practicing enough to do that. This reminds me of the consistency and work it takes to be good at anything.
Thank you Doen.
*Thank-you* Doen, for this timely piece.
It’s like, if life is game, then nothing outside the game is going to determine how the game plays itself out or what it means. Just my showing up, here and now, willing to play the game FOR REAL.
Ultimately, any story I tell myself about what it is or what it means is as unreal as another. Freedom is won here and now either way. So I might as well play to win.
@Kojin
I’m very glad you liked this post – that you agree. Maybe if there are enough of us we can remind each other of what we are really doing.
@ Elena
Thanks Elena. You seem to be able to do many things once you set your mind on it.
@Katie
Thanks Katie, yes please play to win. It helps everyone else as well.
As always, this was really helpful.
@Julie
I’m glad. See you soon.
since joining lost coin, i feel like i win almost everyday not because of what i have or have not achieved but because i am constantly reminded to be me – no one but me … if i practice this then i win.
@LIz
What a great thing to say to everyone. Thanks so much.